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For quite a while I was decidedly convinced that the frontlines of military combat were a socio-political frontier that the anus of modern feminism would leave untouched. How possibly could twenty-first century women–the most solipsistic creatures in the history of human civilization–even consider risking their own lives for the safety of their compatriots?

But how dearly mistaken and naive I was. My fallacy? Gullibly assigning the exclusively masculine trait of sincerity to the doughnut-fed bloated feminist beast that calls herself ‘Modern Woman’. no, No, No, No Killer Instinct. They don’t want to actually fight in wars! They want men to keep dying by the thousands but be able to take the credit! They want to shove ‘female military accomplishments’ down the throats of the next generation of grade-school boys–to use blatantly inconspicuous hypocrisy to destroy the self-esteem and mental energies of young men across the globe.

Feminists don’t intend to fight just as they never intended to actually participate in competitive collegiate sports. Yet Title IX was passed with the fervor of the 13th Amendment and each year there’s progressively more clamor from shrill, man-jawed ‘fe’-males for federal funding.

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Why do I get the feeling this creature would rather be on her knees fellating my black staff long into the night than fight Afghani terrorists in the secluded caves of Kabul?

 

But everything I’ve written so far is utterly irrelevant; it’s coming from a man after all. The ‘Modern Woman’ must be admired for the contents of her vapid brain and massive stores of excess adipose tissue. Don’t worry, it’s not as contradictory as you may think. Just watch this video, and trust me, it’ll all make sense: