Growing up in the confines of a specific cultural environment tends to skew our understanding of fundamental aspects of human nature, and thereby hinders our ability to take full advantage of social game. It is crucial to wade through not only the fog of culture but also the bullshit of people’s proclaimed truths in order to identify and explore the true motives of human interaction. I will start with specific ‘lessons’ that I have garnered through experience and study, and then examine each of them in sufficient depth. This post addresses the first of these lessons.
Fundamental of Human Nature (FHN) 1
It’s all about power
Whether an individual is being utterly nice to you or downright cruel, the base motive underlying all social interplay remains the same: power. We all have an intrinsic need to assert dominance over and to control others–those without sense of such power are undeniably miserable. This yearning for social power is distinct between the two genders, and plays out in specific ways, which I will explore a bit later. First and foremost, however, it is imperative to recognize that each individual you meet, speak to, or bond with, is after, primarily, power over you. This includes friends, parents, children, siblings, bosses, classmates, and everyone else you may know. This power is essentially a quest to fulfill a particular psychological need for dominance or superiority as well as a sense of authority.
It might seem as though I am tarnishing the very foundations of human relationships by asserting that even the ones we claim to love are in purist of power. In a sense, yes, this is true. ‘Unconditional’ love or caring does not exist, even between the closets friends or lovers. The deepest relationships are tradeoffs, with power playing at least a sizable role. The only case where we as a species come close to unconditional bonding is in the face of death–which is why the strongest friendships are built during war or military service; the proximity of death tears away at several layers of psychological desire.
The takeaway here is simple: understand that no individual will be there for you unconditionally. They are all after something, and in the confines of social interaction, that need is power. They want to assert dominance, to make you feel subordinate, and to thereby control you, psychologically and emotionally. This is not something to lament. It is simply the nature of the human species, and a part of reality that we must accept and use to our advantage. We begin with this loss of innocence–no one is truly trustworthy, due to in-built psychological mechanisms that produce a drive for power.
Let’s now explore how this power manifests in social interaction. For men, power rests mainly over other men, and is more about dominance that about control. This need for dominance takes various forms, with violence being the most common manifestation through the course of human history. Social dominance, at least in modern society, is now the norm, with ‘contests’ for dominance rarely being settled by physical means. Social hierarchy is generally established through specific cues of communication: insults, aggressive tones, alpha body language, sarcasm, intentional disagreement, etc. Conversation between men is, thus, necessarily more aggressive and a clear contest for dominance. Men do not share a similar desire for dominance-assertion over women, focusing almost exclusively on getting the lay. Indeed, if supplicating and being meek were effective means of having sex with women, even the most high status men would employ those techniques. The male need for power, therefore, plays out in the form of contests for social dominance over other men (this includes even best male friends).
In the context of power struggle, women are quite different. They’re power is less about dominance and more about control, and is dependent not so much on social mechanics, as it is on their physical appearance. Women’s social power, then, is more or less equivalent to sexual power. A beautiful women (say, an HB10) is able to control male behavior to her will, and, by being a fierce competitor in the sexual market, derivatively controls her fellow females as well. Men will be willing and eager to provide her with resource, wealth and time for the chance to sleep with her, and women will want to associate with her socially so as to increase both their sexual market value (by association) and ability to meet high-status men (the kind of men HB10 would be able to attract). The female desire for power, or more accurately, the need for control, is strongly aligned to their appearance and sexual attractiveness. Interestingly, however, the man a beautiful woman is able to control is not the one she is most attracted to. Women intrinsically judge male status based on their subservience; fundamentally, then, the more difficult a man is to control (i.e. the less power the woman has over him), the higher his perceived status, and the greater her attraction. Female attraction is very intertwined with this cross-gender power play, and is the basis of sexual game. This is something I plan to address in many future posts, but for those of you with an immediate yearning, please read anything by Mystery or Style.
While a man’s psychological need for power manifests in the form of dominance contests with other men (and is separate from his sexual desires) and is determined by both status and social cues, a woman’s yearning for control is satisfied based on the extent of her beauty, and is fundamentally interlinked with her sexual mechanisms.
girl with no power
sexy girls able to control/assert power over men