What’s Your Number Hope Solo?

November 29, 2012 — Leave a comment

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If you haven’t heard as of yet, Hope Solo, mannish US women’s soccer player (I know, I didn’t think it was a real sport either) recently got her ass kicked by husband Jerramy Stevens (no, his parents weren’t good at spelling), an NFL tight end with an enormous history of smacking his bitches if they ever got annoying. I suppose precious Miss Solo was expecting the 250 pound lineman to suddenly metamorphose into an angelic embodiment of love and gentleness in response to her feminine guiles and heaving man-jaw. Sadly, something a bit different happened. He beat her ass like he’s done to every other one of his past girlfriends (excuse me, I think the precise term Mr. Stevens uses for them are ‘hoes’). What is Miss Solo’s response to Stevens? To be a ‘strong, independent’ woman and exact some revenge by manipulating the court system and media to get him in jail for life? Oh, hell naw! Not even close. This is what she does.

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Apparently, she’s ‘blessed to have found True Love,’ and would defend Stevens to the grave. Wonderful. I’m curious though if her love is to the man, or rather to the action itself. Does she crave him or the violence? Experience suggests the latter — she is aroused by, addicted to, desperately hungry for — wait for it — his fist. It’s a psychological need not unlike masochism itself, but a bit less nuanced. She needs to be dominated in the most direct, emphatic and aggressive form. She is specifically attracted to men known for their violent predilections, and the blood that drips from her face or arm after he’s finished yet another episode only serves to bolster the attraction. It is a craving as deep, as urgent, as any man’s need to fuck. Women like Solo will go to the ends of the earth, turning down ‘less attractive’ suitors, to find and embrace men like Jerramy Stevens. And to think that the modern West is filled with chumps willing to grovel at her feet, to meet her every demand, to serve her till death no matter the consequence. No, she will never have a man like that. She cannot. Her most basic, primal psycho-sexual makeup demands dominance of the strongest sort.

For the sake of full disclosure, I love women like Hope Solo. In fact, if she ever got some chin readjustment done, I think I’d call her. God knows smacking a hoe is the best kind of therapy.

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